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Cameron Diaz On President Obama’s Re-Election

The 40-year-old, Cameron Diaz, who is desperately trying to look 25-years-old with a torrent of plastic surgery, said she was worried about the election as she fell asleep on her big pillow. “I was terrified that I was going to wake up to a total embarrassment for our country and that today would be a very different day for me. But I was so thrilled.”

Oh my. We heard that Cameron Diaz was also heard singing Peter Gabriel’s song in the mirror to herself as well. Afterall, Diaz is so much larger than life and so much smarter than those small-minded 57 million Americans who were “embarrassing” enough to vote for the arch-enemy of Gotham.

Songwriters: GABRIEL, PETER
I’m on my way I’m making it, Huh!
I’ve got to make it show yeah, Hey!
So much larger than life
I’m gonna watch it growing
Hey hey hey heyyyyyyy

The place where I come from is a small town
They think so small, they use small words
But not me, I’m smarter than that,
I worked it out
I’ll be stretching my mouth to let those big words come right out
<---- she sang this section of the song pretty loudly I've had enough, I'm getting out To the city, the big big city I'll be a big noise with all the big boys, so much stuff I will own And I will pray to a big god, as I kneel in the big church Big Time, I'm on my way I'm making it, big time, oh yes Big time, I've got to make it show yeah, big time Big time, so much larger than life Big time, I'm gonna watch it growing, big time Ho ohh ohh, oh oh, ho ohh ohh, oh ohhh My parties have all the big names and I greet them with the whitest smile Tell them how my life is one big adventure and always they're amazed When I show them 'round my house to my bed I had it made like a mountain rage with a snow white pillow for my big fat head And my heaven will be a big heaven, And I will walk through the front door Big Time, I'm on my way i'm making it, big time, Huh! Big time, I've got to make it show yeah, big time Big time, so much larger than life Big time, I'm gonna watch it growing, big time Big time, my car is getting bigger Big time, my house is getting bigger Big time, my eyes are getting bigger And my mouuuth Big time, my dinner's getting bigger Big time, and my bank account Big time, look at my circumstance Big time, and the bulge in my big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big, hi there